Learning to Live with Uncertainty (and Even Grow from It)

Uncertainty makes us feel vulnerable—and in divorce, it often feels like the only thing we can count on. We try to escape it any way we can. Sometimes we even prefer bad news over no news, just to have something solid to hold onto. Have you ever found yourself spiraling through an internet rabbit hole while waiting for a legal update, financial settlement, or response from your ex?

But here’s the truth: it is possible to live—and even thrive—amid uncertainty. It’s not just about getting the right advice (though that helps). It’s about building trust in yourself—believing that no matter what happens, you’ll find a way through.

Without uncertainty, we’d never risk falling in love, starting over, or envisioning a new life beyond heartbreak. The discomfort of not knowing is real—but so is the growth that can come from it. Divorce might be one of the hardest unknowns you face, but it can also be the start of your most meaningful transformation.

The Dare

Notice what helps you cope (and what doesn’t).

The unknown can bring out the worst in us. When I’ve been deep in uncertainty about work or life, I’ve snapped at people I care about—and that feels awful. Over time, I’ve learned that sleep, movement, and eating well keep me grounded. The same is true during divorce: your well-being matters more than ever.

Create space for emotional clarity.

Fear is loud. It drowns out your intuition and makes you doubt your own voice. That’s why carving out quiet moments—through prayer, meditation, journaling, or just a walk—is essential. I’m still learning how to sit still, but I know this: when something big is on the horizon, I need to walk it out. That’s often when I hear my inner wisdom loudest.

Lean on intentional support.

When everything feels uncertain, our instinct is to reach for answers—texting friends, Googling nonstop, replaying every conversation. But often, what we really need is someone calm and steady to remind us: This feels hard because it is hard. Ask one or two trusted people to gently hold space for you.

Uncertainty is a bridge, not a wall. It’s part of the process of building your new life. Keep going—you’re not lost, you’re becoming.